He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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