he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Watching her eat just hurts me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
