I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
