did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
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