So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
