Non-Jews are for practice
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
