dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
