jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
