What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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