I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
