I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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