some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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