Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
