ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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