Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
