My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
