What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
