It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
