before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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