i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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