I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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