I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
