i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
