I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
