Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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