is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
