when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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