In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
