I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
