I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Someone shit on the floor
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
