Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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