1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
A+ Viking dick
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I think my moral compass just broke
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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