Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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