was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
