drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I intend to get homeless drunk
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
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