Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
