Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
