you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
