the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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