Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She needs sedatives and a leash
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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