Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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