i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
