im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
