yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
