Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
