i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
