We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
