You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
