how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
