And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
