So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
