so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
