he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
