dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You're like the curious george of whores
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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