i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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