Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
