I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
