I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
