I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
