Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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