no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
