She announced her abortion via fbk
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
