omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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